just occurred to me that, right now, i don’t know a single person that i would characterise as “happy”. friends, family, coworkers and random people i only correspond with on the internet included. i don’t know if that makes me feel better or worse about my life.

so they hired a guy with the same hair as the wife from that show on tlc, my vagina is a clown car or whatever it’s called, who also has the unfortunate name of “trevor.” the most fucked up thing, for him? i’m pretty sure he’s straight.

poor bastard.

Red Man, Mariah Carey & Nick Cannon, and one of the guys from ZZ Top
All within a month of each other, in a Wal-Mart, while I worked there. Mariah was kind of a butthole, actually, but everybody else was really lovely and signed autographs & took pictures for about 45 minutes or so before they could finally buy their milk or whatever.

nickdouglas:

I got paid today.

And as long as I hold down a job, I’ll never be late on rent or get my phone shut off again. I’m not rolling in dough or anything, but the wolf has been held at bay, the daily stress of debt and lack of resources is fading, and I am a little bundle of joy.

Thank you all for supporting me, and thank the rest of you for being assholes about me so I had to succeed to prove you wrong.

and i had just gotten over wanting to fuck the hot little gingy straight boy. gods damnit, nick.

um. [brad’s bio]

What will your business card say?

My tour rider, provided I was ever famous enough that people would pay to see me do something:

1 (one) liter Grey Goose vodka
Blame it on the goose. Shorty get loose.

1 (one) liter Van Gogh Espresso Vodka
It’s like an orgasm in your mouth. I mean, without the aftertaste.

4 (four) Bodum Pavina double-wall tumbler
The glassware is important, and I love these things with a passion that is unseemly for an inanimate object. I like to feel classy when I’m getting shitfaced.

1 (one) espresso machine with all required accesories
Including chilled milk pitchers, a quart of half & half, 1 (one) pound ground espresso, and vanilla, caramel & chocolate syrups. A trained barista is not required, but may be included provided he is hot.

true confessions time: i had never heard of mashable before today (when i was cruising photos from sxswi) and have no idea what utility such a… what, service? whatever, i have no idea who would find it useful.

but damn. that there is a pretty man.

via wmmarc)

Trash Circus

(via hipsterorgay)