The problem is no longer getting people to express themselves, but providing little gaps of solitude and silence in which they might eventually find something to say. Repressive forces don’t stop people from expressing themselves, but rather, force them to express themselves. What a relief to have nothing to say, the right to say nothing, because only then is there a chance of framing the rare, or ever rarer, the thing that might be worth saying.
Who chooses 11pm on a Monday night to message “sup” to someone who hasn’t logged in to OKCupid in 7 months? I’m dumb for not realizing I need to individually manage the notification settings of every app that I’ve ever installed, all of which autodownloaded on my new phone, and that’s on me. But also, that shit woke me up. My alarm is set for 4am. I just spent 45 seconds reading your agrammatic profile and an hour seething in anger and hoping you never find happiness.
You should have just replied, “Why is wonder woman costume a punishment?” Make the bigots explain their bigotry. Sometimes just saying “wow” works.
I am a huge fan of the “pretend confusion and make bigots explain their bigotry to you as if you were a tiny child” tactic. It it literally the best thing ever invented. But as mentioned, this is a person I’d almost decided to like, and I like a vanishingly small number of people. I was so startled to hear something this terrible from someone I’ve almost accepted into the ranks of “reasonable human beings” that I pretended a phone call, made apologetic facial expressions, and walked away talking about dog grooming appointments with my locked and idle cell phone clamped to my ear.
A man I work with, who I more or less like, this week described to me a yearly golf tournament he participates in where the winner receives a superman costume he’s required to wear on halloween, and the loser receives a Wonder Woman costume. So this entire scheme, basically, is predicated on the idea that being a woman is somehow shameful.
I just… I cannot overstate how terrible this world is, and how much about it needs to change.
I’m just so done with the politicization of women’s bodies. Women exist. They’re out there, just trying to get through. If the existence of women disturbs you, I’m done politely tolerating your bullshit and attempting to gently nudge you towards behaving like an adult.
This youtube video has me so salty. And I feel dumb, because of all the things to be mad about, a youtube video is among the stupidest. But what is our children learning? The kids are not OK. More than half of the teens sampled here are all “OMG Nicki, you nasty” and you know what? Nicki Minaj is Nicki Minaj and most importantly, you are not Nicki Minaj. So shut the fuck up and dance.
what motivates you to keep going when times are tough?
This is going to be perhaps more personally revealing than the asker intended. I do know that the right answer is something along the lines of “my family and friends” or “the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends towards justice.” The real answer though, is my singular and monumental bloody-mindedness. I am the most stubborn person I’ve ever met. This isn’t a thing I’m proud of, or should be, but it’s something I’ve come to accept. When shit gets really and truly terrible, the one thing that keeps me going is that the inchoate they would just love for me to throw my hands up and quit.
I have reasons to tolerate this flaw in myself. It’s not bellicose, my stubborness. It doesn’t argue. It’s more a ‘smile and nod, roll your eyes only when you’re walking away, do whatever you had already decided to do’ kind of thing. And what I’ve decided to do, ultimately, is to keep going as long as I’m able, because I want to see what happens.